How to have Health Care Reform & National Security


Recently, we have heard that al Queda is claiming responsibility for the Boxer or Briefs?-bomber.

This is to be expected; it is easy to get American panties in a knot with the SPECTRE (see James Bond) of Bombs in the Unmentionables. Already there are calls for more invasive procedures for boarding an airline.

It is likely this country would have no problem with paying for technology to detect The Lingerie of Death. A country that is politically unwilling to give its citizens a regular medical exam, if they are uninsured.

Why not offer a complete medical exam at airports? That way, you could weed out the Testicle bombers and Tampon terrorists AND give, regardless of citizenship, even, a most comprehensive exam of their bodies that has ever been done.

Instead of some “mandate”, wouldn’t a US citizen be more receptive to buying an airline ticket that included total body screening and a chance to vacation, in or outside the country?

And instead of surly, underpaid airport screening staff, wouldn’t you prefer a bunch of over-cautious medical residents examining you? If their licenses were on the line?

Take a mammogram to Martinique!


14 Responses to “How to have Health Care Reform & National Security”

  1. artemis54 Says:


    My favorite band, The Cutters, at Tumbleweed:

    The recording does no justice to the voices, particularly Teresa’s (on the left). A commanding voice, with or without amplification.

    I do not know the person who filmed this, yet I must have been sitting about ten feet to the east of him.

  2. artemis54 Says:

    Christ if Tweety would shut the fuck up and listen to Irshad Manji he might learn something.

  3. artemis54 Says:

    I got some cool Christmas presents!

    Endangered Species in 5-D Stereograms from my friend who always stands in the bookstore fascinated by these things as I am. Part of the proceeds to Defenders of Wildlife.

    Also a big tub of homemade apple butter with just the right amount of balsamic vinegar added. Heaven.

    I get one more today. It is either cans of air or a cat door. Either one would be a great assist.

  4. artemis54 Says:

    How can one not love birds?

  5. artemis54 Says:

    Looks like the media has decided that 2010 is the year when we all want desperately to hear every detail of the Levi/Bristol custody battle. On the one hand, giving custody to a silly media whore and on the other, wait a minute, which hand was that? On the other a three ring circus. Having watched a couple of these horrible battles, I know that in my state there are judges who would seriously consider freeing the poor kid from all these losers via a guardian ad litem for a long long time.

    • artemis54 Says:

      No idea how it is in other states, but in WA there is no such thing as “custody”. The court approves a document that roughs out where and how the child’s time will be spent, In fact the court will not approve a divorce decree until the arrangements are first made for the child(ren). For the purposes of other states, the place where the child spends the majority of the time is considered the “custodial parent”, but WA considers those quotation marks as just that. It seems relatively sensible.

  6. artemis54 Says:

    On that couple whose gps led them astray in Oregon, I notice many many comments to the effect that it wouldn’t have happened if they had used a map instead. Sheer bullshit. I had the same experience just a few miles south, using a map instead of a gps. Only the map didn’t bail me out, I had to walk. More to the point, if you have no idea where you are while driving around in the winter, you damn well better have a skeeping bag, food etc in your car.

    It also reminds me of my mother and her malfunctioning glucosometer, which almost had her convinced that she was dead. At that point she was in pretty good shape mentally, but I wonder what happens to people who aren’t and believe the machine instead of how they feel?

  7. artemis54 Says:

    I can’t recommend 210 to Pittsburgh – I swear that stewardess keeps her exam gloves in the freezer.

    I would fly a hell of a lot more if we were all naked and I could just be rendered temporarily unconscious. Why not a new cheap airline just for us? Air Absinthe.

    Actually the last time I flew I had to dig out a bag and put some random shit in it just to appear not suspicious. I used to just take one change of clothes and do a little shopping at my destination as part of soaking up the local flavor. They actually do have underwear and shampoo in Europe, for instance, and even parts of the US.

  8. sisdevore Says:

    i.e. as long as you are looking up my ass for PETN, could you czech for precancerous polyps?

  9. cometman Says:

    Ha! I was assuming earlier that we’d all soon be subject to cavity searches. What a nice way to turn lemons into lemonade. Or touchholes into touchstones. Goatse alert – maybe that last metaphor was a bit of a stretch…

    • sisdevore Says:

      We must build on our strengths.

      good book I just finished:

      “Deer Hunting with Jesus:Dispatches From America’s Class War” by Joe Bageant.

      • cometman Says:

        I’m a big fan of Bageant since I discovered his website a few months ago. Thanks for the recommendation on the book – I’ll make sure to give it a read. That Virgin Mary toast maker you pointed out a few days ago should be arriving any time now.

        • sisdevore Says:

          My plan is to make French toast with it–give it un peu Jeanne d’Arc flavor

        • artemis54 Says:

          Same here. In fact I think it was you that turned me on to it/him. Interesting that he used to work in a bar on the Coeur d’Alene rez. I know it well.

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